The Journey

She slid and skidded over loose rocks, pushing the boat blindly towards the water. She shook her head like a beast plagued with flies. She couldn’t shake the thought that maybe today wasn’t a good day to bring the boat out. She gave an even rougher shove and leapt into the boat as it glided out into the dark water. The boat smelled musty and familiar and the wood felt natural under her bones. Ignoring her trepidation, she rowed faster. Nearing the middle of the lake, she looked down at her shoes a saw they were wet. The hole in the boat she had patched and re-patched must have sprung a leak. She felt the boat begin to drag as she paddled. It was as if a sea creature had wrapped its scaly tail around the boat and was pulling it down. As the boat took on more and more water the girl began to panic, but she couldn’t will a single muscle to move.

The end of the boat gave a mocking splash as it sank beneath the water. She regained control of her body and pushed away from the sinking vessel, clutching the paddle. Her sweatshirt and tennis shoes suddenly felt very dense; they were thirsty sponges encasing her body.

She was submerged.

She tried to slow her breathing and turn onto her back. A combination of treading water and the back-stroke brought her closer and closer to the shore. The water was thick and dark with algae. Her heels hit jagged rocks and she pseudo walked the rest of the way to the bank, bobbing like a moon-walker.

She collapsed on the shore in a heap. She needed rest. Looking ahead she saw trees. Moving further into them she realized she had picnicked with friends in this forest before. She sensed she should begin the long walk back home but the nearer place of solace was beckoning to her. She slogged deeper into the woods looking for a dry place to rest. The occasional crunching leaves and bird whistles kept her senses pricked. But soon a dry, inviting patch of moss made her oblivious to the disquieting noises. She lay down softly, her muscles burning and her head throbbing.

Soon she was drunk with sleep. She slept for what felt like a million years. Vivid dreams and feelings of dread covered her. As glimmers of consciousness flitted behind her eyelids she suddenly felt claustrophobic. Vines from the earth were twisting around her wrists. She looked closer and could almost see them growing, curling tighter around her arms.

She was trapped.

She pulled and thrashed but the more she did, the tighter the vines became. She never imagined that cords of chlorophyll would be the end of her. They might as well have been steel ropes. Helplessness was morphing into panic just as her foot hit something hard. She dragged the object closer with her feet. It was a jagged rock. Her forearms and fingers strained against the cords until they found it. Haphazardly she twisted the rock about until she felt sticky blood between her fingers. After what felt like hours of slashing at the tendrils she was finally free.

All she wanted was home. Her heart ached thinking about it. Did home really exist, she wondered. It was such a distant memory. Surrounded by darkness, she crept towards an outline of rocks and discovered a cave. She quickly swept the cave floor with her hands, feeling for bark or anything dry to light a fire. Her shaking hands twisted twigs together and miraculously sparks began to fly. She blew tenderly on the flame, shielding it like a new life. She felt for more fodder with giddy hands, placing whatever she found carefully on her crackling creation.

The fire cast shadows on the cave wall; turning branches and rocks into dancing figures. It reminded the girl of childhood nights spent with her sister and the shadow puppet shows on their bedroom wall. The girl’s own shadow flickered on the wall, like a shy friend observing from the corner. The darkness of the night and the utter loneliness she felt in that moment were unbearable.

She was engulfed.

Just as the darkness was about to crush her, a ray of light trickled through the opening of the cave. Though she felt a strange safety in her sorrow she knew she must leave the cave. She crawled forward, taking assessment of her surroundings. She felt a tug….an almost gravitational pull towards something. It was drawing her towards the light peeking through the trees. Her brisk walk turned into a run. She tripped on a tree root and fell to her knees. She was in a clearing…a meadow. The light was so bright now it blinded her. When she finally was able to open her eyes, she glanced around. The light could not be traced to a source. It was like the light of the sun, but brighter. She was suddenly aware of how filthy she was--her sweatshirt and tattered jeans were smeared with blood and mud in places. The sun--except it wasn’t the sun--was so warm and bright it bleached her clothing and sanitized her wounds. The overwhelming need she had felt to return home, or to anything familiar, for that matter, dissipated. She felt safe. She felt free. She knew she would be here for a very long time.

John 8:12

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”